Aizensama's Eyesight
by MufflestheMighty
Summary: Aizen did a stupid thing when he crushed his own glasses just to look cool and now his eyesight is ruining his reputation was sinister, evil character


Aizen had a problem. A big one. He couldn't see. Ever since he had crushed his glasses in his own hand while floating up from Soul Society he had had trouble seeing things. The endless blank, monotonous walls of Hueco Mundo didn't help either. He couldn't even remember how many times he had bumped his face into them. He thought brushing his hair back would give him clearer sight as well as making him look sinister, but how could one look sinister when one mistook a chunk of rock for Yammi and spent 10 minutes trying to intimidate it.

He sighed deeply. He didn't want to wear glasses again, they were ugly and made him look like a nerd, and anyway, the espada would probably all laugh at him. They were already getting suspicious, he knew and he blushed as he recalled one of the many embarrassing incidents caused by his horrible eyesight.

One time, he had been draped in his chair, calm and cool, really sinister looking, with his lazy eyes and strand of stray hair. The espada were all gazing in awe at him as he ate a plate of grapes, at least that's what he thought. In fact, they were actually bored out of their minds, until Aizen's eyesight got the better of him.

He had raised his eyebrows at who he thought was Halibel, but was in fact Yammi (Yammi blushed furiously) and then reached for another grape. He glanced at it, saw it was purple and round, and then popped it into his mouth. It took him a moment to realize he had swallowed the Hougyoku and when he did, he immediately gagged. Choking and coughing, he stumbled off his chair. Once again, his eyesight got the better of him and he ran straight into a pillar. The espada watched their mighty Aizen-sama tumble down the flight of steps leading to his throne and then punch himself in the stomach multiple times, face growing redder all the while, before a small purple glowing ball popped out of his mouth and rolled across the tiles. They all watched it roll away, except Aizen, who was too busy gurgling and gasping on the ground.

Another time, Aizen had suffered extreme embarrassment in front of all his espada at the annual PS2 tournament. He had managed to beat his underlings, especially Nnoitoria, who did not have peripheral vision, with his eyepatch. It was the semi-final, Tousen vs. Aizen and Aizen was feeling pretty good. His Mortal Kombat skills were pretty decent. But Grimmjow had switched the game and it was now Call of Duty. This proved horrible for Aizen, he couldn't even see the small map that showed the position of his opponent and the map they chose was full of corners and hiding places. Tousen fired blindly and beat Aizen 15-0. The espada had joked about that for months, the mighty Aizen-sama beaten by a blind guy.

It was the very same blind guy that Aizen was going to see right now. Tousen was braiding his hair into dreadlocks when Aizen entered.

"Aizen…" he said, "I sensed your entrance" Aizen rolled his eyes

"Aizen…" Tousen immediately said "I sense your rudeness" Aizen sighed

"Aizen… I sense your regret… which is why I know you are sorry and I will aid you in whatever way possible."

"Good," Aizen sat on a plush cushion

"Aizen..." Tousen intoned "I sense your flatulence and the pollution of the essence of my pillow"

"I did not" Aizen was offended.

"Very well, speak of your problems" Tousen waved his hand in a grand gesture and knocked a bottle of perfume of his shelf. He then uttered a word very out of character

Soon, Aizen had spilled his troubles to his loyal subordinate.

"and…and…they're all gonna laugh at me…" Aizen sobbed as he finished the story.

"There, there, don't worry, all will be well" Tousen stroked Aizen's head.

"Get off me" Aizen snapped "and tell me what I should do!"

"Well, I could lend you one of my plastic glasses." Tousen waved his hand and knocked them all down. "They are extremely strong, made especially for those soccer players."

"Do you have any idea how stupid I would look wearing your ridiculous glasses??" Aizen asked, then seeing Tousen's hurt look he immediately said

"Though they look absolutely beautiful on you of course" which seemed to cheer Tousen up.

"Other than that, I have no other solution" Tousen said

Aizen was bitterly disappointed and he walked out depressed. He became even more depressed when he was eating supper and he poked himself in the eye with a spoon because of his long-sightedness.

That night, he sneaked out and into the real world for his last resort, an associate of his from old times. Actually, It was his arch-enemy from a long time ago.

"Welcome, Aizen-sama" Urahara sang

"Hello, Urahara, I' ve come he- "Aizen started in his best sinister voice but was interrupted as he walked into the door frame.

"I think I see the problem" Urahara answered coolly as Aizen cursed himself forever.

"Follow me" Urahara disappeared into the darkness and Aizen stumbled in, knocking over a bookcase and stubbing his toe on a step. Urahara emerged holding a tiny box.

"Here, these will do the trick, just wash them once a day and be sure to take them out when you go to sleep." Urahara handed it over

"Uhm…What is that?" Aizen frowned

"Contact lenses, for those vain, prissy people who want to look good." Urahara answered as Aizen spluttered in rage.

"How do I use them" Aizen gritted his teeth and spoke.

"Just put' em in your eyes." Urahara said, he mimed it as he would to a 3 year old

"thank…you…" Aizen snatched the box, turned stiffly and marched to the door before he lost control and attacked his former enemy, who was still as annoying as before.

"One minute, Aizen-san" Urahara called

"Yeeeessss?" Aizen turned, working his jaw.

"You have to pay for that, you know?" Urahara grinned

"I don't have any money" Aizen said quietly

"Ah well… I suppose if you really need them, but remember, you owe me one" Urahara's grin grew wider.

Aizen opened a portal and escaped before his head exploded from rage.

After that, Aizen-sama carried himself with dignified pose, avoiding everything in his path and identifying each of his Espada accurately. He also defeated Tousen when the PS3 came out.


End file.
